Get Married or Not with Tong Yao, Chen Shu, Xu Fang Yi, Pan Yue Ming, and Yuan Wen Kang

Get Married or Not (谁说我结不了婚) is a modern drama said to be inspired by 2016 Japanese drama It’s Not That I Can’t Marry, But I Don’t Want To dealing with the topic of marriage and age and how our female lead and her friends are pressured and questioned by society on why they are not married in their 30s. YES! Why! Why! Why! Us girls get hit hard and I’m hearing that question so often now that I’m also in my 30s. Why can’t I go at my own pace, leave me be!

To begin airing on 5/26!

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  1. 6 thoughts on “Get Married or Not with Tong Yao, Chen Shu, Xu Fang Yi, Pan Yue Ming, and Yuan Wen Kang

    I’m so looking forward to this! Ladies in their 30s… and my drama husband Yuan Wenkang is BAAAACKKK!! Also, I like Tong Yao. Never seen Chen Shu before, but read about her accolades, so I’m curious.

    • 6 thoughts on “Get Married or Not with Tong Yao, Chen Shu, Xu Fang Yi, Pan Yue Ming, and Yuan Wen Kang

      I’ve only seen Chen Shu in Fighter of the Destiny and Behind The Scenes, both of which featured her as a special cameo. She had strong auras in both despite being the cameo and left me really good impressions. Excited to see her in this!

      • 6 thoughts on “Get Married or Not with Tong Yao, Chen Shu, Xu Fang Yi, Pan Yue Ming, and Yuan Wen Kang

        Thanks, polaris! Never watched those two, but your insight is quite reassuring. Can’t wait (thank God it’ll be only in several hours lol)

  2. 6 thoughts on “Get Married or Not with Tong Yao, Chen Shu, Xu Fang Yi, Pan Yue Ming, and Yuan Wen Kang

    I’ve spent the last few years convincing people around me that marriage =/= happiness. My mom has been trying to persuade me to find a BF but she’s not pressing me and my dad has been silent on the subject the whole time, haha. Isn’t it enough that I’m happy with what I’m doing right now? LOL.

    I might give this a try since I like the cast. Hopefully it’s not draggy. If it is, I’ll just go watch the Jdrama haha.

  3. 6 thoughts on “Get Married or Not with Tong Yao, Chen Shu, Xu Fang Yi, Pan Yue Ming, and Yuan Wen Kang

    @chasingpolaris “Women must marry by a certain age” is a remnant of practice and belief from the older times when women must indeed marry or risk living in poverty or isolation from the society (safety issue). Having a man to support and protect you is important back then, especially when times were uncertain and wars come and go. Men also needed to marry early in order to ensure continuation of the next generation because lifespans back then weren’t very good, especially for men. But nowadays, a woman can live comfortably with or without a man. We no longer need to rely on men for support and safety. And men generally enjoy a longer lifespan, thanks to advancements in medicine and the absence of war (in most countries). Additionally, if women do marry, nowadays couples prefer to have zero to two (max) children as opposed to the olden times when having 4 is considered a “small” family. Again, this is because in those times, children have high mortality rates – not all children survived into adulthood and not all young adults survived long enough to have children of their own. Hence, couples were encouraged back then to have big families. Having more children also helped in families that rely on physical labor to earn a living.

    Although there are more men and women who never married nowadays, the main social issue is not single hood (despite the popularity of dating shows), but rather the high rate of divorce in many countries. As standards of living and people’s lifespans increase, being committed to one person for the rest of your life becomes a challenge, hence it is not a decision to be taken without much deliberation. Nowadays, more and more young couples prefer to live together instead of getting married because the laws in many countries do recognize de facto or live-in type relationships as having equal legal rights as being in a marriage. Unless there’s a religious reason why a couple should marry, there is no legal need for every couple to marry nowadays.

    Being married to the wrong person can destroy a woman’s life, career and health. I had seen too many during my lifetime to know that not all divorces end peacefully. I would like to think that times are changing. At least in my generation, we no longer demand that our children (especially daughters) must marry. Having said that, my hubby and I and our circle of friends are mostly highly educated, hence, we are very open and forward thinking parents, but I do know some of my friends who are not as highly educated and their thinking is still somewhat influenced by their parents’ generation’s thinking…. which is unfortunate.

    We can talk about this till the cows come home but at the end of the day, the decision is yours. There is no right or wrong answer. Do not let the “noises” of your parents and relatives influence or affect you. After all, your parents don’t have to live with that person for the rest of their lives. You do. I also always tell my kids that “no one in this world can give you happiness. True happiness can only come from you – from within.” 🙂

    • 6 thoughts on “Get Married or Not with Tong Yao, Chen Shu, Xu Fang Yi, Pan Yue Ming, and Yuan Wen Kang

      Thanks for your valuable insight, Aryael.

      From my conversations with my parents and elders, I can definitely see why they want us kids to be married. At least for my parents, they want to know that I’ll be taken of when they’re gone, which is very understandable from my point of view. I’ve definitely struggled with that idea, especially now that I’m saving up for a property and see how it would be advantageous to have a partner to share the financial responsibilities. But that’s ultimately not my deciding factor to get married. As you’ve said, true happiness can only come with myself so I’m continuing to live to my heart’s content as a single gal.

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